Unfading One-Shots
by awalkerlifeforme
Summary: A series of one-shots featuring my OC Alex from my Divergent fanfiction, Unfading. These one-shots will cover the period of two years from the start of Alex's new life as a leader of Dauntless up to Tris's entrance to Dauntless. They feature in no specific order and will jump around. Requests are always welcome!


Three months had passed since the death of Jeanine Matthews, or more accurately since I had assassinated Jeanine Matthews. Things were mostly getting back to normal in the city but I was still trying to get back to myself. Initiation had ended the same day killed Jeanine and I was glad it had. I couldn't do much physically since Jeanine's jerk-reaction shot had nearly killed me. My stomach was almost constantly in some kind of pain. I usually felt a dull throb. My doctors in Erudite had warned me to keep physical activity to a limit.

Naturally, Eric and I had decided that some physical activity just couldn't be limited. My doctor likely knew from all the times I had to come back to his office to have the stitches redone. By now, most of the nurses in Dauntless had been ordered to help me if all it was, was torn stitches. My stomach frequently had spasms from the gunshot wound. The doctors in Erudite had warned me that even with minimal movement it would take a while for the pain to fade. I'd been hoping it would abate after three months though.

It must have been early in the morning as I didn't see the sunlight coming in through the windows. I was laid up in Eric's bed, as usual. My clothes were scattered about the room. We had done what we usually did, banging all over the place last night. We would have quite the mess to handle later. I knew there was some blood on the table and the sheets from when I had accidentally split my stitches again. I would have to clean it later. But I wanted to spend some more time in bed as I knew that Eric's alarm would start going off at any moment and we would both be forced to go about our days.

There was a sudden stab of pain at the entrance wound and I groaned, leaning up in the bed slightly and pressing a hand against my ribs. When I pulled away I felt something slick on my hand. A growl escaped my mouth as I noticed the liquid was blood. I was right that I had torn the stitches again last night. I couldn't be surprised. We hadn't been careful. I let out a breath and pushed myself straight up in the bed. It would be another day full of pain pills and bandages for me today. My jostling around in the bed had woken Eric up.

He shifted slightly, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. "What time is it?" Eric groaned, looking up at me.

"A little before six," I answered, looking over to the alarm clock.

Eric whacked me on the knee and I groaned in pain. "Settle the hell down. I was asleep, damn it," he snapped.

"Did it not occur to you that I was shot a few months ago?" I growled, smacking him over the back of the head.

Eric scowled at me again as he turned on his side to face me. "Trust me, I know. You didn't stop bitching about it for weeks."

I rolled my eyes and whacked Eric over the shoulder again, gently fingering the loose strands of the torn stitches. "You tore my goddamn stitches last night, asshole," I told him.

Eric looked like he could have cared less. "Didn't hear you complaining about it last night."

"You're a horrible person," I snapped.

"Go back to your apartment," Eric snapped back.

We both stared at each other with straight faces for a moment before a smile cracked over mine. Eric followed suit a moment later. We had always been that way. Snapping at each other one moment before being perfectly happy the next. It helped that I knew Eric was just messing with me. I rolled over again slightly, knowing that I was rubbing blood further into the bed, laying up against Eric's chest. He didn't seem to mind in the slightest. His hand immediately found the back of my thigh and pulled my leg over to throw it over his own.

My hand found its way to rest against his chest. "Nah," I told him carelessly. This was the place I wanted to be, especially as his hands gently ran over the back of my bare thighs. "I'm perfectly comfy right here."

Eric's lips tilted up in a very slight grin as his hand tightened around my thigh slightly. I knew that he would never admit it, but Eric did like cuddling with me. This was the position we ended up in almost every night and whenever we would chitchat with each other before bed, we were always wrapped around each other. I wouldn't have thought so when we'd first met, but Eric was kind of a sweet person to sleep with. It was interesting coming from a guy who had never let a girl sleep in his bed before we'd begun dating.

I'd never told him, but I had always been so honored that I was the first person he'd left sleep in his bed. He must have known since I took him up on his offer to stay over whenever almost every night since initiation had ended. Especially since he had taken care of me in the early weeks after the accident. Eric's hands gently ran down my bare back as I tilted my head into his chest, tightening my grip on him slightly. We laid together for a while, not speaking. I liked the peacefulness we didn't usually have in our lives.

Judging by his even breathing I could tell that Eric wasn't asleep. I had likely woken him up for the day but he wouldn't speak until I was fully awake. I calmly let out a few deep breaths as I tried to go back to sleep but it was near impossible. There was still a nasty searing pain under my ribs. I'd hit the kitchen counter last night harder than I thought. Even without the accidental impact, I knew it would be a few weeks before I stopped feeling pain in the wound. It took a long time but eventually, I managed to fall back asleep.

It must have been barely an hour when I woke up again but the sun was fully up now, which meant that it was time to get moving for the day. I tried to shift from the bed but the sheets were wrapped firmly around my body. They were tangled over my torso and wound in between my legs. I had to shimmy out of the sheets and kick them down to the bottom of the mattress to finally free myself. As I did so I realized that I was sleeping in the middle of the bed, which was strange. Normally Eric would have kicked me back to my side of the bed.

But he was no longer sleeping with me. I looked up and saw that Eric was wandering around the kitchen. He looked like he was going to try and cook this morning. I giggled slightly when I realized that Eric had put on his underwear this morning. Normally he wouldn't have bothered. He glanced up after a few seconds and winked at me. I smiled as I reached down and grabbed the sheets again, pulling them around my chest to shield myself from the cold air of the apartment. Eric tossed me a blanket from the back of the couch that I threw over myself as well.

It was moments like that where I knew how much he cared. The little ones that would have meant nothing to someone else, but everything to me. "Thank you," I told him quietly.

"Welcome," Eric muttered. "Coffee?"

"Please. Breakfast?" I asked hopefully.

He didn't have to make anything special. I would have taken cereal at this point, I was just hungry. Eric glanced up from the coffee pot and scowled at me. "Get your own damn breakfast," he snapped.

My jaw set. He was already making himself bacon. He could grab me a bowl of cereal. "Oh, come on. You're already in there and making coffee!" I barked. Eric glanced up and grinned at me. I rolled my eyes. "Please, Eric."

Eric grinned, walking to the counter. "Beg a few more times."

I scoffed. "You're so gross."

"That didn't seem to bother you last night."

He was such a pain in the ass. He wouldn't do one simple thing for me like bring me breakfast. Not that I would have done it for him either... I would have harassed him about it too. I rolled my eyes at Eric as I gently shifted out of the bed. The pain was a little more intense than I was expecting as I let out a pathetic groan, forcing myself to sit upright. There was some dried blood on my stomach and down my ribs. The black thread of the stitching was draped down my ribs slightly. I glanced down at the bed and noticed a little bit of dried blood on the sheets.

_Not again_... It was the second time this week alone I'd bled on the sheets. Eric didn't look up but he must have noticed my movements. "You bled all over my sheets again, didn't you?" Eric asked, pouring two cups of coffee.

"How many of my clothes have you destroyed over the last year?" I snapped back.

He had broken a number of my bras and ripped a few pairs of underwear to shreds. Eric shrugged carelessly. "Doesn't change anything."

"Shut up," I growled, looking back to the sheets. The blood was rubbed in and would take some serious scrubbing for me to get the stains out. "I'll clean them later."

Eric waved me off carelessly. "Don't worry about it."

A smile crept across my lips at his words. His tone was emotionless but I knew what it conveyed. Just like Eric wouldn't ever admit that he liked cuddling with me, I knew that he also wouldn't admit just how much he cared about me. But I knew it, judging from the little things he did for me. Bringing me back my favorite dinner from the dining room when I didn't have time to get it myself, constantly keeping apples from Amity on the counter, and not yelling at me about the seemingly never-ending blood stains on his sheets.

Part of it was definitely because I knew just how scared he had been that I was dead. Eric hadn't spoken much about the few hours I was legally dead and I hadn't asked him. Partially because it creeped me out and partially because I could see just how much it affected him. He wouldn't say more than just a few details. But Cameron had told me just how devastated Eric was. I'd hoped Eric would mourn me anyway, but after Cameron's recollection of that day's events, I realized just how grateful Eric was that I had somehow survived the gunshot.

Eric meandered back and forth through the kitchen for a few moments before walking off. He walked into the bathroom without a word and I followed his movements. I could hear him rummaging through the bathroom for a few seconds before he came back out. This time he had a handful of first aid supplies. He walked back over to the bed and kneeled in between my knees. He was carrying a bottle of rubbing alcohol, a few bandaged pads, and some medical tape. I smiled again. He was going to play doctor for me.

"Lie back," Eric said, resting a hand against my knee.

His hand ran its way up my hip and ribs on my uninjured side before he rested his palm against my rib and shoved me back. I hit the bed with a grunt. "Ouch!" I barked, kneeing Eric in the side. He shoved my knee away. "Pretend to have some bedside manner, asshole."

Eric teasingly ran a hand over the stitches and I twitched slightly. He was going to press into the wound. I knew he would. But he smiled. "Watch insulting the person who's handling your injuries," he teased, gently stroking the skin there.

So, he was planning on being at least a little nice today. I smiled again as Eric pulled his hand away and leaned over me, resting a hand against my chest to keep me in place. He spilled a few drops of rubbing alcohol onto one of the pads before placing the bottle down and pressing the pad onto the torn stitches. I quietly groaned in pain from the alcohol moving into the open wound and pressed my head back into the mattress. It felt like my skin was sizzling. That part of my recovery was never going to get easier.

Eric kept the pad there for a little while. He never rubbed it in as the pain was almost intolerable. Eric's hands moved from my ribs, keeping me in place, to my upper thigh, gently stroking the skin there. He didn't look away for fear of breaking his concentration but I smiled as the pain lessened slightly. At least, my concentration was pulled from the searing pain of the wound. I breathed out gently, resting my hand over Eric's. He gave my thigh a gentle squeeze before going back to cleaning the wound.

"Thank you," I muttered, feeling Eric finish up cleaning the blood.

There was a snip of the medical scissors taking off the excess stitches. I would likely have to go back to the nurses later to have them fix it. "Don't thank me, Amity," Eric said, noticeably tensing at my words. "Never thank me."

It was rare to see Eric in a moment of discomfort. I'd noticed that he genuinely became uncomfortable whenever I showed any gratitude toward him. I wasn't exactly sure why, but I figured it was because of his parents. They were the exact reason he couldn't express emotion like most other people I knew. Still, I knew how he felt, even if he didn't. I smiled at Eric as his gaze dropped to my wound again. There wasn't much left to do other than redo the stitches to keep them in place until I could get back to the doctor. He would take longer than necessary to avoid talking to me again.

He didn't want to face the emotion he was feeling. Not that I cared. I wanted to force it anyway. "My parents wanted to know if you would come to see them in the hospital," I told him quietly.

Eric's hands tensed against my ribs as his brows furrowed. "What?" he asked.

His voice wavered slightly as he spoke. The always strong Dauntless man couldn't tolerate knowing that someone else's family wanted to make him a part of theirs. A small laugh escaped my lips as I ran my hand over the back of his knuckles. He wasn't meeting my eyes, instead staring down at my wound. When he briefly met my eyes and I smiled up at him his eyes immediately flicked away. As much as he enjoyed harassing me in front of my parents, he didn't enjoy getting to know them, which was exactly why I'd known he wouldn't take my news well.

Just last month I had gone to visit my parents. Partially because I had missed them and wanted to make sure they were okay, and partially because I wanted to see how close my mother was to having my sister. Though it had only been a few months since Jeanine had almost killed me, I spent a lot of time with them. They had been in the hospital almost every day during my immediate recovery, which had taken about two weeks. Afterward, I had seen them at least twice a week. Sometimes they came to Dauntless and other times Eric brought me to Amity to see them.

We saw each other more now than we had when I lived in Amity and was constantly trying to avoid them. It helped that my parents refused to see me less than once a month now. They weren't thrilled that they had almost lost their eldest daughter to a gunshot wound. During my last visit to Amity last week, my parents had explained they were anticipating having my sister next month and had asked me to be there - which I undoubtedly would be. To my surprise, they had also asked me if Eric would be coming along to meet the newest member of our family.

At first, I'd been surprised they wanted him to come along, but as they'd explained it, he had become a member of the family. He wasn't only in my life romantically, but he had saved my life. He was a part of our family, whether or not he liked it. I'd been thinking about a way to admit it to him all week but I hadn't been able to find a way. I supposed that it was easier to just do it this way - spit it out when he wasn't expecting it. He hadn't been expecting it, as he was now staring at me blankly, waiting for an answer.

"My parents love you," I said. Eric nodded, grinning. He'd known that they had liked him from the first day he had met them on Visiting Day. "Once they have the baby, they were hoping that you would drop by and say hello. To them and the newest member of the family."

"Oh, yeah?" Eric asked, now focused on my ribs again.

I hummed my assurance. "Yeah." We remained in silence for a moment as I smiled at the top of his head. "Will you come?"

For a long time, I got no answer. Not that I was expecting one. I knew I would have to pull an answer out of Eric since it had something to do with my family. He never met my eyes while he finished off my stitches, though he did grin at my stomach. His hands tugged against the stitches that hadn't been ruined as he tried to redo the ones that had. My hand gently ran up Eric's shoulders to see if I could get him to look at me. All he did was reach around my hand and shove it back down to my side. He was going to try and ignore my comment as long as possible.

He would do anything possible to get me to try and forget about what I'd just said. But I wouldn't. Though I did blush slightly as Eric leaned down and ran his tongue up my stomach - running around my wound - before running over my chest and finally settling at the base of my through, where he pressed a small kiss. I moaned a little louder than I initially meant to and felt Eric's lips tilt up in a smile. I grinned at him as Eric rested his head against my side, his hands winding slowly over my body, avoiding anywhere I genuinely wanted him.

A few moments passed before Eric looked up, finally meeting my eyes. "What's in it for me?" he asked playfully.

_Not being broken up with_... Not that I would have the nerve to do that. "My never-ending gratitude," I told him sweetly, smiling broadly.

Eric grinned, shaking his head. "Not good enough."

Was I going to have to try and force him into coming with me? I'd been hoping that he would do it because I wanted him to, or even better because he wanted to. "Come on. Do this one thing for me," I said quietly, grabbing his arm.

"Tell me what's in it for me," Eric teased, still smiling.

"Eric!" I barked, starting to get irritated.

His grin widened. "Now that I like the sound of."

Of course. He wasn't going to take me seriously unless I forced it. I rolled my eyes as I pushed myself up on the bed and gently nudged Eric away from me. "Can I at least get a serious answer out of you one way or another?" I asked tonelessly.

The smile remained on his face for a few moments, but it slowly fell when he realized that I wasn't kidding. I wasn't an idiot, I'd known that Eric would try and joke his way out of this. He had every time I'd brought up the ultimate birth of my sister over the past few months. He had always told me that he would eventually come to meet her but he'd never referenced being there the day she was born. I knew it would make him uncomfortable, but I genuinely wanted him to be there. We all did. He deserved to know there was a family out there who _did_ want him in it.

Eric stared at me for a long time, likely trying to find the next thing to say that wouldn't upset me. "They want me there?" Eric asked slowly.

"They do," I answered. I hesitated a moment before continuing. "I do, too."

Eric's brows knitted in confusion. "Why?"

Was he that clueless? I hated having this conversation with him, and we'd had it plenty of times before. All because his parents had treated him like he wasn't worth a damn. "Because they love you. Because I want you to meet the newest member of our family. They treat you like family," I told him. Eric didn't make any indication that he'd even heard me. "That's just the way Amity's are. They treat anyone close to them like family."

Eric's brow shot up, his piercings glinting in the bedroom light. "They like me that much?" Eric asked curiously.

He was always teasing me that my parents liked him better than me. He knew they liked him. "Yeah. Who knows why?" I teased, shoving his shoulder gently.

Eric smiled at me, shoving me back against the bed. I let out a slight grunt from the pain of the stitches stretching. I straightened up to meet Eric's eyes again. "Do you want me there?" Eric asked, completely straight-faced.

"Yeah," I said immediately. I wouldn't have brought it up if I hadn't wanted him there... Eric nodded blankly. He wasn't going to say anything, I was going to have to drag it out of him. "Are you okay with meeting my sister?"

Eric was silent for a long time as he tried to think of the one answer that wouldn't offend me. "If you want me there, I'll be there," Eric said.

The corner of my lips tilted upward at Eric's answer. I was pleased that he had agreed to meet my sister on the day she was born. I'd thought it would take months to drag him out to Amity to meet my entire family. He never liked visiting them for more than an hour or two, and usually, the entire time we spent with them was rife with all three of them teasing me. It was always something playful and light. This time together wouldn't be. It would be the first time I could show Eric that he genuinely _was_ a part of my family - we all wanted him there.

In the back of my mind, I knew that Eric wasn't thrilled with the idea of being there for my sister's birth. The displeasure was written all over his face. Whether or not he wanted to be there, I knew he would go, all because he knew it was what I wanted and he did try to please me, though he wouldn't admit that. He would much rather let everyone think he ignored me and anything I had to say to him. I smiled at Eric's willingness to make me happy as he rested a hand underneath my chin and tilted to up to meet his mouth in a kiss.

The thing I immediately noticed was that his heart wasn't in the kiss. There wasn't the same heat there normally was - and that was something that displeased me immensely. He only kissed me like that when he was upset about something and my heart sank to the floor as I realized he was upset that I was dragging him along with me to meet my sister. I tried to ignore it and respond to the kiss, smiling into it, but it was obvious that neither one of us was into it right now. We were just going through the motions. Ignoring it was just annoying me.

We remained locked together in the kiss for a while as we both attempted to get into the kiss. Eric was more into it than I was. His arms wound around my waist to tear gently at my clothes. I smiled into the kiss vaguely. I wanted to just be happy with the way things were. I wanted to be happy that he was willing to come to see my family with me, but I wasn't, because I knew he didn't want to be there. He was only doing it to appease me. I rolled over to sit up on Eric's waist, causing his lips to turn upward in a grin, but I broke the kiss after a few more moments.

Eric's brow rose in curiosity. "You don't want to meet her, do you?" I asked, fighting to keep the emotion out of my voice.

I wanted him to come with me so badly, but I knew he didn't feel the same. Eric let out a deep breath. "Amity -"

"Tell me the truth," I interrupted sharply. I was almost surprised that Eric's voice died on the spot. He stared at me as I leaned back and sat upright on his hips. Eric used his stomach muscles to pull himself up with me, our chests almost pressed together. "Do you want to meet her or are you only saying that you want to because _I_ want you to?"

He raised a hand to brush my hair behind my ears. He didn't meet my eyes as he spoke again. "Does it matter?"

"It matters to me," I said.

"Why?" Eric asked; he sounded exasperated.

It was only one word, but it bounced around in my head for a long time. Why did I care so much? Did it matter that Eric didn't want to be there when my sister was born? It probably shouldn't have mattered to me as much as it did, but I had already made my point clear. Eric didn't have a family who loved him. Mine did love him. They wanted him to be around when the newest member of our family was brought into the world, and I had to be honest, I wanted him there too. I wanted him to know that he was a part of my family now.

As much as I would have loved to tell him, I wanted him to know that my parents weren't just inviting him into our family just because the two of us were dating - they were doing it because they thought he would be in my life forever. It was a conversation we'd only had once or twice before as I kept interrupting my parents the moment they talked about it, but they were convinced that Eric was the person I would share the rest of my life with. To be honest, it wasn't a thought that terrified me. It almost excited me.

But I couldn't tell him that. It would have sent Eric running for the hills. So, I went for the easiest answer. "Because I want to know that you're doing this because you genuinely want to."

My comment was my answer. I knew that Eric didn't want to meet my sister. He didn't like kids in general and he certainly didn't like doing anything that put him any closer to my family. I had just been hoping that he would see how much it meant to me and do it anyway. I'd been hoping that he would understand what this meant to me and want to make me happy. Unfortunately, that wasn't the kind of man Eric was. He wasn't going to do anything that was out of his comfort zone and I should have known that by now.

Still, I was hoping he would prove me wrong. Eric was silent for so long that I thought he'd forgotten my question. It had been nearly five minutes when he spoke again. "You know I don't like kids."

That was so far besides the point it was almost laughable. "I do. Neither do I," I told him honestly. While I was excited for my parents to have another child, I wasn't a fan of children. "I've never questioned you about that."

"Why are you questioning it now?" Eric asked.

My gaze narrowed. How could he not see it? "Because it's not some random kid running around the Dauntless compound. This kid is my little sister," I snapped.

"I know that," Eric said defensively.

"Do you?" I asked.

"Yes," Eric groaned.

He sounded like I was asking him to do the most complicated task in the world, not to take a day off work and come see my family. "You don't act like you do. You act like she's some random kid I'm asking you to visit," I told him stiffly.

"I just don't get why they want me there," Eric said tonelessly.

If there was ever a moment I genuinely wanted to punch Eric, this was it. "Because they care about you!" I snapped. "Because…" My voice died on my tongue as Eric gave me a long stare. I had just managed to catch myself to keep from saying the one thing I thought might have scared him off. I took a deep breath before continuing. "Because they know that your parents aren't exactly ones to look up to. They want you to feel like you have a family somewhere else."

In retrospect, that wasn't the wisest thing I could have said either. It might have sounded sweet to the average person, but Eric would know immediately that it meant I had told my parents about his. One thing he had recently divulged to me was that no one growing up had known about his parents. Cameron and his family had been the only ones. Otherwise, they had put on the front of a normal family in Erudite. Once Eric had arrived in Dauntless, anyone who had asked about his parents had gotten his version of the story; they were dead.

It was one secret I promised him I would keep. He didn't want anyone knowing about his family and the way they'd treated him growing up. He didn't even like me talking to Cameron about his family. I couldn't blame him. I wouldn't have wanted people to know either. I was glad that I hadn't accidentally let it slip to Heather about his parents, as she likely would have accidentally told Cole who would have let it out to the rest of our friends. That was a surefire way to make sure Eric never spoke to me again.

If I hadn't met Eric's parents accidentally, I wasn't positive he would have told me about them. After all, he'd never mentioned them to me before our trip to Erudite. That meeting was now likely going to come back to bite me on the ass. I hadn't meant to let out the secrets of Eric's childhood out to my parents. It had happened just after I was shot by Jeanine. I was in the hospital with my parents when they'd asked whether or not Eric's parents would be showing up. It had all kind of spilled out after that.

They'd looked horrified to learn the truth behind Eric's upbringing. I hadn't told them the entire story, but I did have to explain some of it. I'd noticed after that that my parents made every possible effort to include Eric in our family. As I was lost in my thoughts, Eric was processing the truth. We stared at each other for a long time as I prepared myself for the fight that was sure to come. I knew he wouldn't be happy that I had told my parents about his, but it had been an honest mistake.

"You told your parents about mine?" Eric asked shortly.

"Yes," I answered honestly, seeing no point to sugarcoat the truth.

Eric's face displayed no emotion but I knew he wasn't happy I'd let the truth out to my parents. "Did you tell them the whole story?" Eric eventually asked.

Well, that wasn't what I was expecting. "About the experiment?" I asked. Eric nodded. "No. I would never."

The one thing I never would have admitted to my parents was the truth about Eric's childhood. I'd mentioned that there was a lot of contention between him and his parents and had told them about how they hadn't been close as he'd grown up, but I hadn't dared tell them the truth. There was no way I would ever tell my parents that Eric's had only created him for an experiment. I didn't even know if his mother had ever been pregnant. When he mentioned his childhood, he mentioned test tubes. He'd always made it seem like his mother had used a surrogate.

I'd never seen Eric look as confused as he did right now. "Why not?" Eric asked.

Was he insane? Why would I have ever told someone about his monstrous childhood? "Because you told me that in confidence and I knew you wouldn't ever want me to repeat it," I told him. Eric nodded blankly. It wasn't anyone else's business what had happened to him. "Do you believe me?"

That was the real question. I would have never told my parents the entire truth about his childhood. He hadn't explicitly told me not to tell anyone else, but I'd heard it in the way he spoke. He didn't want anyone else to know. There was a good chance that he didn't even want me to know. He only told me because, whether or not he wanted to admit it, he trusted me. I didn't want to do anything to break that trust. Eric laid a hand in my lap as he stared at me, hesitating a long moment before speaking again.

"Yes," Eric said hesitantly.

Anything he told me having to do with his family would never go beyond us. "That stays between us, Eric," I said, reaching out and linking our fingers together. I thought about stopping there, but I wanted him to know that he could always talk to me. "And if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here to listen. That's what I'm here for."

It was the truth. I had never been with someone before when I'd wanted to help take care of them. It might have sounded cruel, but I'd never been interested in any guy's personal life. Of course, I had loved Florian with all my heart, but that had been in a friendly way. I'd always wanted to be there for him and ensure he was okay, but that was because he was one of my best friends, not because I was in love with him. I hadn't cared much for Damien or any other guy I'd been with. Eric was something different. I wanted him to feel like he could confide in me.

The question was, would he? He wasn't thrilled with what I'd told my parents. I didn't blame him, I just hoped he could see why I'd done what I had. I was more than surprised when Eric leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss against my mouth. I didn't respond to it as I was shocked by his response to learning that I'd confessed his childhood to my parents. Eric hadn't put up the fight I was expecting, but I would take it. I leaned forward again and pressed a soft kiss to Eric's mouth. His hands slowly traveled up my waist, squeezing my hips before eventually breaking the kiss.

For a moment I thought he might tell me something about himself I genuinely wanted to know. There were so many bits and pieces of his life that he didn't tell anyone, not even me or Cameron. I wanted him to be able to tell me about his childhood, the way his parents had treated him, or anything he was thinking. But he kept his feelings to himself most of the time. Eric and I exchanged a long glance as I raised my eyebrow curiously, wondering what his serious face was for. He looked like he wanted to say something.

It took a few moments for him to speak. "I'll come when it's time," Eric said.

A small smile tilted up on my lips. That was easier than I'd expected. "Really?" I asked happily.

For once maybe Eric was going to do exactly what I wanted him to do. I'd been looking forward to meeting my sister for months now and I had also been hoping that Eric would come along with me. He could finally get the chance to have the family he'd never gotten and always deserved. Eric stared at me for a moment before nodding, looking oddly emotionless. At this point, I was used to it. I supposed that it didn't matter, I was just thrilled that he'd agreed to come to the hospital with me. My parents would be just as excited.

Eric watched curiously as I jumped to my feet and pressed a long kiss against his mouth. His hands were gripping my hips tightly. His grip was so tight it felt like he was going to break them. I couldn't help but wonder if something was still wrong. I could feel his hands shaking slightly. Something wasn't sitting right with him. As I pulled away, I gave him a long look. It was written all over his face. His lips were tilted up in a grin but there was no spark in his eyes. That playful spark that was always in his eyes was nowhere to be found now.

That was when it dawned on me. I had known it from the moment Eric had initially agreed to come to the hospital, I had just been trying to ignore that little nagging in the back of my mind. This wasn't something Eric wanted to do. I had a feeling he would rather do just about anything else - save dinner with his own family. The only reason he was doing this was that I wanted him to do it. He had no care in the world to meet her. The smile fell from my lips as I realized what my only viable option was.

Eric didn't miss my very sudden change in demeanor. "What?" he asked curiously.

He thought he had done the right thing, but it wasn't enough. I needed him to mean it. "If we're going to do this, I want you to be there because you want to be there. I don't want you to feel like you're doing it just because I want you to," I told him honestly.

Something shot through Eric's eyes; maybe it was regret, or maybe it was annoyance. "Amity -"

"You don't like kids," I interrupted. I wasn't sure what I meant by it. Maybe I was just trying to justify his distaste for being there for her birth. "I know that."

Even though he didn't want to be there for her birth, it was very obvious that Eric also didn't want to upset me. "She's going to be your sister," he argued.

It wasn't a strong enough argument to have him come with me. I didn't want him to be there on a special day for my family and have him wish he were just about anywhere else. "That doesn't change the fact that it's a newborn baby and you're uncomfortable being that close to my family," I said, hearing the deflated hope loud and clear in my voice.

It wasn't a guilt trip, but he certainly looked guilty for my change in attitude. He must have known how bothered I was by the fact he was only agreeing to this for my happiness. I wanted him to respond to my last statement. Was he that uncomfortable being close to my family? I wanted him to feel like he had a family with mine, not that his only family was those monsters he had for parents. Eric's hands twitched for a moment, almost like he wanted to reach out and touch me, but he pulled them back quickly.

"You've already told your family about me," Eric said tonelessly. I nodded at him. What did that have to do with anything? "Does it matter?"

Now I understood what he meant. He was referring to me telling him that he was uncomfortable being close to my family. He was trying to deflect the conversation about him being there for my sister's birth toward the news that I'd told my parents about him. I reached out for Eric's arm, but he pulled away instantaneously. I couldn't help but feel the little stab of disappointment that shot through my chest. It _all_ mattered, that was the point I was trying to make. He didn't have to keep hiding away, especially not his feelings.

"The fact that you have to ask that…" I said, letting out a deep breath. The two of us stared at each other for a long time. I knew that I needed to ignore the situation with my sister for a moment and instead focus on his hesitance to be around my family. "Eric, I didn't tell them everything about you. I wouldn't do that. I just wanted you to know that you had someone other than me to rely on."

"I know I do," Eric said grouchily.

But he didn't. I knew he didn't. He never relied on me completely and he certainly wouldn't rely on my family. Anything he told me was only a half-truth or had some massive chunk eradicated. I knew why. I knew he was uncomfortable telling me all of the things that had happened to him growing up that had turned him into the sometimes cold man I still saw on occasion. I just wished he knew that he could tell me anything; he could tell me when he was upset about something or when his childhood was particularly getting to him.

"Someone other than me and Cameron," I continued from my earlier comment. "Of course, I hope you want to rely on me, but if not, I want you to have other people in your life. My family and Cameron and anyone else you might choose. Any of us."

"Why?" Eric asked.

"Are you kidding?" I snapped. Eric shook his head. "Because you can't just bottle everything up. It's why you end up beating the initiates - myself included, once upon a time - to a pulp. You get angry and you lash out."

I had struck a nerve. I realized too late that I probably shouldn't have made my last comment. I'd almost forgotten that part of the reason Eric lashed out so much when he was frustrated was that his parents had done the same thing to him growing up. They were always taking out their frustrations on their experiments and each other on him. He was their punching bag during his childhood, likely why the initiates had become his punching bags in adulthood. It was a habit of his I was slowly trying to break.

When I spoke again, my voice was much softer and less demanding. "It might help things if you could talk to one of us. Any of us. You don't even let Cameron or me in. Not completely."

"Let it go, Amity," Eric groaned, rolling his eyes. I followed suit with his movements a moment later. We were both annoyed with each other. "I'm coming, aren't I?"

"And you sound so thrilled about it, don't you?" I snapped.

"When have you ever known me to sound thrilled about anything?" Eric asked.

He was getting more and more fed up with me as the minutes passed. I knew that he had every right to be mad at me, as I was being rather annoying, but I meant what I was saying. I wanted Eric to want to know my family better, just the way I would have wanted to know his if they weren't the way they were. At this point, I didn't want to even drag him along with me. I didn't want him to drag himself to the hospital in Erudite just to be upset the entire time. It would ruin what was supposed to be a special experience for all of us.

As much as I wanted him to be there, I didn't want him to do anything he didn't want to do. "Just tell me the truth. You don't want to go, do you?" I asked, dreading his answer.

Eric was silent for a long time as he thought, but it didn't matter. I already knew his answer. "No," Eric finally answered. I let out a deep breath. I'd been prepared for that answer, I just didn't want to hear it. "I think it should just be for your family."

Was he a complete moron? These were the days I wanted to punch him as hard as I possibly could in the head. The moment being for my family was my entire point for wanting Eric to go with me to the hospital. I just wanted to show him that he was a huge part of my family now. But for some reason, he didn't see our relationship that way, no matter how serious we got. It had been almost a year that we'd been together now and he still couldn't understand why I wanted him to get closer to myself and my family.

But it didn't seem like he was ready to get to know them beyond any polite pleasantries when I dragged him to our family dinners once a month. That seemed to be as far as he wanted to get with my family. He didn't want to know them any better than that. Not yet and maybe not ever. Not long after the two of us had gotten together I had made myself the promise that I would be fine with his reluctance to open up to me, having already known what he was like. So, I forced a smile on my face, glad he had at least managed to be honest with me.

"Okay," I said simply.

Surprise was written plainly across Eric's face. He hadn't expected me to give up the fight that easily. "You're angry," he commented.

Though I had initially thought I would be angry, I wasn't. I was disappointed, but I wasn't upset. "No, I'm not," I told him honestly. Eric raised a pierced eyebrow. "I'm grateful that you told me the truth and didn't just show up to someplace you didn't want to be. Believe it or not, I know that you're a good man, Eric Coulter."

"Stop," Eric said, scowling at the floor.

"I'm telling you the truth," I said. Eric still wouldn't meet my eyes. "One day I hope you see yourself the way I do."

His reaction was just about what I expected. Much to my surprise, Eric's face flushed with color. I had never seen Eric blush before, he was usually the one embarrassing me. Eric didn't look at all thrilled as I raised my hand and pressed it against his cheek. He let my hand linger there for a moment before he grabbed my wrist and gently pulled my hand off his face. I smiled as Eric's eyes remained locked on the ground. Minutes passed during which he never responded to me. Not that I had been expecting him to say anything.

Since we had begun dating (or whatever the hell it was we were doing), I had always known that he wasn't ready to say anything serious to me. He wasn't ready to admit where his feelings for me were. I had been okay with that for a long time. Most people, particularly Heather, thought I was nuts for waiting around that long for Eric, but I always told her that the words didn't matter. All that mattered was that I knew deep down how he felt. He didn't have to say it out loud. I already knew. He might have not realized it, but he'd made his feelings very obvious for a long time.

At least, I wanted to believe that he cared for me as much as I cared for him. I'd had a feeling he did since the day the doctors had brought me back to life in Erudite. He was one of my best friends and a lot more than that. I giggled quietly as Eric finally broke eye contact with the floor and looked up to me. He leaned forward and pressed a long kiss against my mouth. I smiled into the kiss, leaning up against his chest. One of his hands wound its way up my back before reaching around the back of my neck, keeping me from moving away from him.

Though Eric wasn't about to tell me what was going on in his head, this was his way of telling me exactly what it was I wanted to hear. He would always use his body to tell me the things his mouth couldn't. I had just gotten used to it by now. A tiny moan escaped my mouth as he grabbed at the bare skin of my thigh and tugged me into him. I chuckled softly as he pulled me in between his legs, starting to gently push me back against the bed. He would do anything at this point to get me to stop talking.

For a moment I thought about just letting him go for it. I wanted to go for it. But as much as I would have liked that, there was a little petty part of me that was annoyed Eric didn't want to be there for my sister's birth. That was the part I knew was going to rule today. I knew that I would have had to give Eric some time to think about the offer to be there when my sister was born, but I had been hoping that he would appreciate the offer and maybe even be honored. Apparently not. I gently shoved Eric's hands off my thighs, sitting upright at his side.

Eric scoffed, moving back to sit next to me. "I knew you were upset about it," he said, sounding quite amused with my annoyance, which naturally only made me even more annoyed.

"I'm not upset about it but I am running late," I said semi-truthfully.

While I was upset about him not wanting to come with me, I was also running late. It was almost eight o'clock and I needed to at least show my face in my office. Eric's raised a brow curiously. "You're not the slightest bit upset?" he asked.

Was it worth admitting it to him? Probably, since I knew it would bother me more and more until I said something. "Yes, I am the slightest bit upset," I admitted. Eric nodded understandingly. I thought about letting it drop there, but I wanted to make sure he would at least come back to Amity with me at some point. "But you'll meet her eventually. Right?"

"Yes, Amity," Eric said, rolling his eyes exasperatedly.

That was enough for me for now. "Good," I said, pressing a gentle kiss against his mouth. He smiled at me as I threw the sheets off myself and hopped up to my feet, pushing past him. "I do have to go though, I'm running late."

Eric nodded. "Okay. Are you coming back for lunch?"

Most days I did stop back into the apartment for lunch since I didn't want to eat in the dining room with everyone else during the busiest and loudest part of the day. I didn't mind going for dinner with the rest of my friends. I loved those moments, but during the day it felt like everyone was screaming and yelling and trying to get their jobs done as quickly as possible. Eric normally came back to the apartment to eat with me but I couldn't do that today. I needed some time to think about what was going on and calm down. Maybe talk with Heather.

Though I didn't have much to do today other than sign some paperwork, I also didn't want to come back and lose my temper with Eric. We weren't known for being a level-headed couple. "I don't know. Depends how busy I am," I said carelessly.

"I'll bring it to you," Eric offered.

Well, that was surprisingly sweet. I smiled slightly and said, "Thanks."

Eric watched me out of the corner of his eyes with the slightest smile turned up on his lips as I began wandering around the room. As per usual, my things were scattered everywhere. Eric had snapped at me more than a few times to stop leaving my shit everywhere. But I really couldn't help it, he was constantly taking my stuff from me while I was attempting to work. It was why my clothes were scattered around the bed and hidden underneath it. Not to mention all of my things sitting on the bathroom countertops. He'd barked at me for my blonde hairs clogging up his drain more than once.

In the meantime, I was hunting for anything I could wear today. The only things I seemed able to find were my underwear. As Eric started making himself breakfast I hunted around for work-ready clothes. It didn't take me long to find a bra and underwear, but it took almost five minutes for me to find a pair of jeans I could wear. Then came the problem of finding my shirt. It always seemed to be the hardest thing to find. Eric watched me curiously, a cup of coffee in hand, as I ducked down to see if a shirt was hidden under his bed.

"Looking for something?" Eric asked curiously.

"My fucking shirt," I growled. I'd been wearing a long-sleeved shirt mere hours ago when I had gotten to his apartment. How had it already vanished? "Where the hell did it go?"

"You've got a couple of spare ones in there," Eric said, throwing his head to his bottom drawer.

Since when had he put my things in an actual drawer? Since when had I gotten this much of my crap in his place? I walked over to the drawer and pulled it open. There were a few pieces of my clothing in there. "You put them in a drawer?" I asked curiously, looking back at Eric.

"I can't stand them all over the floor," Eric snapped.

"Or on me," I teased. Eric smirked, waltzing over to me for a moment and briefly grabbing my thigh. I smiled playfully at him as he released me and walked off. "Since when did you get so much of my shit in here?"

"Because you leave everything in here, Amity," Eric said, scoffing at me. That wasn't a lie, exactly. I did have a bad habit of leaving all my things in his apartment when I would leave in the morning and forget about them. "Half of the things from your apartment are in here."

"Maybe if you'd stop dragging me here every night I would have more of my things in my apartment," I replied.

Eric glanced up from his coffee machine. "Is that you saying that you want to stop coming here every night?" he asked curiously.

I turned back to him with a slight smile. "No."

Even when I had been assigned an apartment at the end of initiation, once the trial had ended and life in Dauntless had begun to return to normalcy, Eric had been surprised I'd gotten myself an apartment. He wasn't wrong when he had initially told me that I would never spend any time in there. I was always either in Eric's apartment, my own office, or somewhere in the Pit hanging out with my friends. I only stopped by my apartment to shower (sometimes, though I mostly used Eric's) and get changed.

It was more of a storage unit than an actual apartment. I hadn't even fully unpacked or decorated. "Why do you even bother keeping that apartment?" Eric asked suddenly.

"What do you mean?" I replied.

"The apartment down the hall. Why do you bother keeping it?" Eric repeated. My words died on my tongue. I didn't want to admit the real reason I'd kept the spare apartment for so long. "You're here every single night. Most of the things you need are in here. I don't think you even know where things are in your apartment."

Well, he wasn't exactly wrong about that. I didn't know where any of the things in my apartment were. Most of my things were still boxed up or tossed in piles onto the bathroom counter, kitchen counters, and the still-unmade bed. It would have been easier to move all my things into Eric's apartment as I lost them so often in the jumbled mess that was my apartment. But I did have a good reason for not getting rid of that apartment. As much as I hated to admit it, the apartment was my security blanket.

Eric wasn't the only one who didn't want to dive headfirst into the relationship. It felt like if I gave up the apartment that was mine, I would have had to throw myself completely into the relationship with Eric. Neither one of us would have anywhere to run if things got tough, and I wasn't much for romantic confrontation. Plus, if something happened between us, where would I go? Heather would certainly be there for me, but I would be mortified. There was one way I would move into his apartment, but I knew he wouldn't do it.

Eric was still waiting for an answer and I knew I had to give him one. "I don't know, I was in the top ranking after initiation and had the best offer for apartments. I liked it," I said simply. He nodded as I debated whether or not to say the other thing on my mind. "Also, where would I sleep if I didn't have the apartment?"

"Where you sleep now," Eric answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

But he had never brought it up when I'd gotten the offer for the apartment. How was I supposed to have known? "So, I should have just assumed you would let me keep sleeping here?" I asked.

"I know why you got it at first. Why do you still have it?" Eric clarified.

Now that one I didn't have a good answer for. Not one that I could give him, at least. "I don't - I don't know," I stammered dumbly. "I guess I don't have an offer to live anywhere else."

"You do," Eric replied immediately.

That wasn't the way I'd been expecting the first time someone asked me to move in with them to go. Or, maybe I had misunderstood him. "You're asking me to move in?" I asked carefully.

Eric didn't even look back at me, but I saw his shoulders rise and drop. "Yeah. Guess so."

Okay, I wasn't expecting him to get me flowers and drop down on his knees when it came time that he asked me to move in with him, but I had been expecting something more than a halfhearted answer when I was the one who had to ask him if he was asking me to move in. I should have been expecting it since it was Eric. I turned back to Eric with a little glare, hoping he would realize why I was the slightest bit offended that his way of asking me to move in was completely careless.

"That's not romantic," I huffed when I realized he wasn't going to speak again.

Eric looked up from his coffee mug and gave me a slight shrug. "Since when have you known me to be romantic?" he asked.

_Not the fucking point!_ "Never. Trust me," I snapped.

"So?" Eric asked.

I wasn't going to get through to him that way. I would have to figure something else out. I decided to just go with it. "You want me to move in with you?" I asked curiously.

Even with all the time we spent together in here, it still somehow felt like I was overstepping my bounds by moving in. "You're here all the time anyway," Eric pointed out.

"That's the only reason you want me to move in?" I asked flatly.

Eric's lips spread into a devious grin, one that normally would have made my toes curl but now seemed to only annoy me. "I could think of a few other ones," he said slowly.

Normally, I would have played into his comment. Not today. "Sex and convenience," I said huffily. Eric continued to stare at me with a blank smile on his face. "Those are the only things you can think of?"

The smile finally dropped off Eric's face in an instant. A smirk of my own appeared on my lips. I didn't have to say it out loud for Eric to know what I was getting at. He had to admit that there was more to him wanting me to move in than just being able to have sex whenever we wanted and just because I was already here all the time. I knew what I wanted him to say but I also knew that he wouldn't say it. If I were being honest, I wanted to see how he would react more than I wanted him to give me my answer.

"There a reason we're playing this game?" Eric asked tonelessly.

"I'll move in," I answered, giving him a sweet smile.

His lips tilted up slightly. He must have been a lot more pleased than I had initially expected that I was telling him I would move in. "All right," Eric said blankly.

But I wasn't done yet. "On one condition," I continued.

If Eric was surprised, he didn't show it on his face. I wanted a little more of a reaction than that, but I would take what I could get. Eric's lips turned up in a grin again. "I think I'm starting to rub off on you," he teased.

"Oh, you rub off on me all the time," I teased as I rose to my feet, crossed over the room, and gently rubbed my hip up against his. Eric grinned, wrapping his arm around my waist. As he moved in to kiss me, I leaned back away from him slightly. He arched an eyebrow curiously. "I'll move in with you if you can do one thing for me."

Eric grinned again, obviously not realizing where I was going with this. He reached out for my hips again, pulling me into him and rubbing his hands over my waist. "Name it. _Amity_," Eric teased.

Well, if he wanted me to do it, I would. "Tell me those three little words," I demanded gently.

If I had surprised Eric, he didn't let me know it. His face remained stony as he gave me a long look, his eyes tracing up and down my body. He had to know what I was asking him for. Eric was an Erudite by birth and had retained many of their traits even as he fully immersed himself in Dauntless life. It meant that he was no fool and that he knew exactly what I was asking him to say. The question was now whether or not he would play into my game. I was almost surprised when Eric's lips turned up in a smile.

"What are those?" Eric asked.

Three words, but not the ones I was looking for. I couldn't help but smile at his joke. "Cute," I said, hoping Eric would continue, but he didn't. He continued watching me with a smirk. I would have to take matters into my own hands and force the situation. "Come on, Eric. Say them and I'll move in."

The grin on Eric's face finally began to fade as he realized I wouldn't back off of this one. If he wanted to move in with me I would have been more than happy to do just that. Moving in with someone I cared so deeply for was one of the things I'd been looking forward to for a long time. It was something my parents had always told me was an incredible step forward. They would have been thrilled to know Eric and I were moving in together. They adored him, sometimes seemingly more than they adored me.

Unfortunately, it wasn't something I was going to do without any promise of where things were going for us. While I was so happy being with Eric, it did feel like things were at a stand-still with us. I wanted to know there was some forward motion. Eric stared at me for a long time, more than likely wondering if I was telling the truth. I was. If Eric told me he loved me, I would move in without argument. I just wanted to hear those words. I didn't need anything more; no promise of marriage or kids. I just wanted to know, without a doubt, what I meant to him.

Over the few minutes we spent looking at each other, Eric's jaw opened and closed a few times. I knew he was trying to force the words out, but they couldn't. So, I decided to make the first move. "Don't say it now," I said, leaning forward and taking his hand. Eric looked at me like I had lost my mind after having just asked him to say it. "Don't say it without thinking about it. I don't even need you to say it for a long time. But you know what it's going to take to get me to move in now. Just think about it."

It wasn't something I needed to hear in the next few minutes. I cared for Eric enough to wait for him to tell me he loved me until he was positive he was ready to say it. I already knew that he wasn't ready right now. Who knew when the time would come he was ready to say it? I certainly didn't. I didn't know if he would ever say it. What I did know was that I wouldn't call off our relationship just because he was hesitant, and I also wouldn't move in unless he said it. I supposed it was a little give and take on both our parts.

I was almost surprised when Eric started speaking. "Amity -"

But his voice died a mere moment later. "Yes?" I prompted after a moment of silence.

His eyes didn't give away whatever he was feeling. I so desperately wished I could figure out what he was thinking. Was he planning on saying it? Did he feel that way about me? I thought he did. Even though he'd never even come close to saying it, it always seemed like he cared that much about me. Eric took a few steps toward me and gently rested a hand against my hip. I smiled up at him as he dropped his mouth toward my ear and brushed his lips underneath my ear and against my neck. He pulled away a moment later.

When I looked him in the eyes again, I finally saw the emotion. It was playful, which wasn't what I was expecting. Eric was grinning at me as he said, "You're never going to hear those."

I smiled at him as I pressed a kiss against his jawbone. "We'll see," I teased.

There weren't many times I could throw Eric off. But my answer now had certainly done just that. Eric's eyes widened in surprise for a moment as I squeezed his arm and walked off, unbuttoning the top button of my shirt and stepping through the doorway. Even from the hallway, I could hear Eric scoff as I deliberately pulled the neckline of my shirt down and hiked up the bottom of my shorts to ensure they were riding up as much as possible. Eric might not have been ready to say anything that serious, and that was fine, but I was going to make sure he knew what he was missing out on.

Eric's P.O.V.

There weren't many times Eric found himself at a loss for words. Coming from Erudite, working with words was one of the gifts he'd been born with. He always knew how to respond to his Amity. It was something he'd been wonderful with since he'd first met her all those months ago. But her last comment wasn't something he'd been expecting. Her insistence that one day he would tell her he loved her. It was a realization that had dawned on him when he thought he'd watched her die in Erudite a few months ago. He thought he'd never be able to tell her what she meant to him.

The truth was that Eric was almost certain he did love her if he could ever really know what love was. She made him laugh. She made him smile. She put up with him when no one else would have. He enjoyed being around her more than he enjoyed being around anyone else. Even with all of that, Eric had never intended to tell her the truth. He didn't know how to force the words out. Eric groaned at himself as he threw on his clothes and turned toward the door. He had to do something else before he spent the entire day angry at himself for what he'd just done.

Why couldn't he have just said the three words she wanted him to? Eric was still grumbling at himself in aggravation as he left his apartment just minutes after she had. He was half tempted to follow her to see if he could undo what had just happened between them but he knew the best thing to do was let her calm down. She would get over it and eventually they would go back to the carefree relationship he preferred. Perhaps once he figured out how to convince her that it wasn't a good idea to have him there when her sister was born.

That wasn't the problem now, though. The new problem was that she wanted to hear what she must have known he felt. He wasn't a moron. He had known for a while that the day was coming when she would ask him to say it. He was surprised she had put it off for as long as she had. They had been together for nearly eight months. It was most likely because of her concern over Jeanine's war and then healing from her gunshot wound. He wanted to say it, but he couldn't force the words out. He didn't know if he ever could.

Unfortunately, now that he hadn't, his Amity was angry with him for two separate things. Not wanting to go with her to see her sister and for not telling her he loved her. Even though he did love her... As much as he wanted to deny it, he knew the truth. He had known it since that day. He knew it and even though she didn't say it, he knew that she knew it too. He just couldn't say it. It was a real mess he had gotten himself into. If he wasn't so frustrated with himself, he would have laughed.

It wasn't long before a shadow came up to his side. "You look pissed," Cameron stated, grinning at his best friend.

Eric's aggravation with himself and with her was written plain across his face. Eric glanced over at Cameron and scowled. "You think saying that would make things better?" he snapped.

Cameron rolled his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Eric growled.

The last thing Eric wanted to do was go into detail with his best friend about how his girlfriend wanted him to meet her baby sister and tell her he loved her. Eric had always been the tough guy no one would mess with. He hated having to also be the guy who tried to keep a woman happy. He genuinely didn't want to have to admit that to Cameron, especially since his best friend had always insisted Eric would meet a girl who would make him change. He didn't want to have that particular conversation this morning. Or ever, if he could help it.

But Cameron knew his best friend well enough to know he would have to talk things out. "Oh, come on. Tell me so we can skip ahead to try and fix things," Cameron told Eric.

Eric's teeth were grit together as he said, "She wants me to say it."

"What?" Cameron asked.

Eric's teeth were ground so tightly together he was sure he would break them. "She wants me to tell her I love her," Eric muttered.

He wasn't exactly sure why, but Eric had been expecting Cameron to be shocked that his Amity wanted to hear those words. All Cameron did was give the slightest shrug of his shoulders. "I'm surprised she's waited this long," Cameron told Eric carelessly.

Today just seemed to be the day Eric would be in for shocks left, right and center. He hadn't been expecting his Amity to ask him to come with her to see the birth of her sister. He hadn't been expecting to ask his Amity to move in with him (though it was something he genuinely wanted) and he certainly hadn't expected her one condition to be him telling her he loved her. He also hadn't expected Cameron to be unsurprised by the entire situation. Eric stopped walking as he stood at Cameron's side, who was watching him completely blank-faced.

"What?" Eric asked dumbly.

"Most people say it within the first few months," Cameron explained. Eric scoffed. There was no way he would have said it that early on. He didn't even want to say it now. Cameron rolled his eyes at his friend's stubbornness. "Eric, you watched her die. You were devastated. When I thought she was dead I thought I was going to have to figure out a way to keep you from killing yourself."

Cameron certainly wasn't wrong. It was devastation he'd never felt before when he'd thought that his Amity was dead. He wouldn't have ever been able to accurately describe what it was like to see the only person he'd ever cared for that much dead. He hadn't cared about what had happened to him afterward. He'd been willing to lose the trial against him because of how upset he'd been. Cameron would have had every right to be worried about Eric's sanity if she had died. But that panic had long-since faded.

"Now we're in a routine," Eric answered his friend.

Cameron rolled his eyes. "That's not the point. Eric, that doesn't mean you can only love her when you think you've lost her," Cameron said. Eric nodded understandingly. That wasn't the only time he'd cared for her. It was just the first moment he had realized it. Cameron hesitated for a moment before continuing. "Stop thinking about what your parents taught you."

Eric's jaw cracked from how hard he was pressing his teeth together. "I'm not," he growled.

He didn't think about anything his parents had ever taught him. At least, he tried not to. "You are," Cameron argued. Eric scowled as he started walking again. Cameron followed just behind him. "Do you love her?"

Did he love her? It was a question that had been bothering him more than it should have. It seemed like it should have been such a simple answer. Did he love her? Yes or no? So many people seemed to be able to answer it within a minute of being asked. They were able to say it without having someone prompt them, but Eric couldn't. It wasn't an answer that came to him no matter how hard he thought on it. He wanted to be able to say it, but he couldn't. Something was holding him back. Perhaps it was something his parents had drilled into him so long ago.

Eric was silent for so long they had almost made their way to the other end of the Dauntless compound. Cameron was patient enough to just walk with him and wait. "I don't know," Eric finally admitted as they made their way to the offices.

Cameron reached out and took Eric's arm in his hand. Eric threw his head back in annoyance. "I think you do," Cameron argued. But Eric didn't. He didn't know without a doubt how he felt about his Amity. "You would scoff or laugh whenever I asked you about any girl before Alex. She's the only one you've ever hesitated with. You're not hesitating because you're not sure, you're hesitating because you don't want to say it."

As always, Cameron was right. It was that very reason that Eric always liked to snap at Cameron that he should have stayed in Erudite. He hated having his friend always there to call him out when he was wrong about something. Eric didn't know what he was supposed to say to her. He didn't know how someone went about telling another person they loved them. Eric groaned as the pair headed upstairs. How had a normal day gone this wrong this fast? All he'd wanted to do was get work done with and spend a few hours harassing her tonight.

Now it seemed that he would have to figure out something to tell her before things could go back to normal. "I don't know that I could ever tell her," Eric muttered, not facing Cameron.

"She doesn't need it right now. She knows it won't be easy," Cameron said. His Amity was one of the most understanding people in the world, but was she that understanding? "But you'll get there." A small smile tilted up on Cameron's mouth. "In the meantime, I don't think she's leaving."

Eric shook his head in agreement. "No. But she won't be happy until I say it."

"Do you ever want to hear her say it?" Cameron asked curiously.

That time Eric stopped dead in his tracks. That wasn't a question he'd been expecting. It wasn't even a possibility he had considered. The very idea that she might not wait for Eric to say it first. What if there was the tiniest possibility that she said it first? Eric hadn't ever thought about how he would feel if his Amity told him she loved him. She had done essentially just that during the trials for the Box, but he had been under mind control at the time and she had only admitted it to a hallucination. It hadn't registered with either one of them.

Though his Amity hadn't ever mentioned anything about it, he had a feeling she didn't remember. She had told him she hadn't remembered anything about the Box after having started the simulation. He didn't think about it much, but it had occurred to him a few times over the past few months that she had admitted how she felt about him, but he hadn't gone much into depth with it. He didn't want to think about it because then it sent him into an unwanted rush of thoughts about his feelings for her.

"Never really thought about it," Eric answered honestly.

"Maybe you should think about how you'd feel if she said it," Cameron suggested. Eric rolled his eyes. That wasn't a topic he would ever be comfortable thinking about. "You know how she feels."

Eric nodded numbly. "I do."

"You know how you feel," Cameron continued.

This time there was a brief moment of hesitation. Eric already knew the answer, as much as he didn't want to admit it. "I do," Eric muttered. It looked like Cameron was fighting back a smile. Eric rolled his eyes. If Cameron wanted to bother him about his problems today, he might as well admit them all. "She wants me to be there when her sister's born."

Cameron nodded. "That's nice."

That was it? Just that it was nice? Eric scowled. Had he overreacted to her desire? "She realized I didn't want to be there and told me not to worry about it, but she's mad. I can tell," Eric explained.

Cameron's head snapped over to glare at his best friend. He shouldn't have been surprised at Eric's idiotic response to her question. "What's wrong with you?" Cameron barked. Eric was surprised at Cameron's reaction. "Go with her to meet her sister! Damn you."

"But -"

"We're not talking about it anymore," Cameron interrupted, waving his hand at Eric and ignoring his continued attempts to speak. "Go apologize to your girlfriend for being an asshole and agree to meet her baby sister. Go."

What the hell? That wasn't the way Eric had expected this conversation to go. First his Amity and now his best friend. Perhaps he needed to avoid people for the rest of the day. Eric grunted as Cameron reached around his back and shoved Eric back toward the stairs. Eric stumbled down the first step before continuing to walk. He knew he wouldn't be able to go back to try and talk to Cameron. He was done speaking with him for now. As usual, Cameron would be annoyed with the way Eric treated his Amity for a few days.

Though Eric would never admit it to his friend, he knew Cameron was right about the entire thing. He hated the moments when he had to realize that his friend was right. Even though he was right, it wasn't going to change the fact that Eric was uncomfortable with having to admit his feelings for her or go with her to meet her sister. It wasn't just the way he had been born. It was all because of his fucking parents. She knew that. She had been so understanding since they'd first gotten together. Maybe it was finally time for him to do the same for her.

Alex's P.O.V.

Nothing was going to go my way today. That was my only thought as I threw my papers off to the side and tucked them back into their binder. I would worry about the new shelter for the Factionless later. Right now, I had no idea how I was going to be able to get the funding we needed to keep the people who were most at risk safe. I placed my head in my hands as I leaned down on the desk. I hadn't managed to get a single thing done today - not even the few things I'd needed to do. Now that it was past lunch, I only had a few hours left to get my things done.

How hadn't I managed to get anything done? I had been hidden away in my office for most of the day. I hadn't left, although Heather had dropped by for an hour earlier. She had originally just come to share her breakfast with me but it had ended in a bit of a therapy session for me. She was used to me ranting and raving like a lunatic for hours on end about the things Eric did that drove me up the wall. Heather hadn't had much of an answer other than to give Eric some time to warm up to the idea of being with my family. As she'd said, we hadn't been together that long in the scheme of things.

As for getting him to tell me he loved me, we both agreed that that would be another monster to tackle entirely. Heather had left for her job with the promise that I could always come to her for advice when I needed it. That would end up being a lot. Thankfully, she agreed that I was right to hide away in my office all day to keep from snapping at him. I knew that I didn't have the right to be angry about things, but I was. Staying away from Eric was my only option right now. Maybe I would even sleep in my apartment tonight.

It would probably upset Eric, but at least he would know I was being truthful about this meaning something to me. I was considering how to bring up my sleeping arrangement tonight with Eric when the door barged open, the very person I was thinking about storming in without a word. I jumped back from my desk in surprise, knocking my knee painfully against the desk, shoving the construction plans I was reading onto the floor. I placed a hand on my chest, trying to slow down my rapidly beating heart.

"Amity," Eric said by way of greeting.

"Jesus," I panted, still trying to slow my heart rate down. Why the hell hadn't anyone told me Eric was coming in? "Didn't you ever learn to knock on a door before entering?"

Eric gave me a bored stare. "I've seen you naked more times than you can count and you're upset that I didn't knock on your office door?"

"Fair point," I admitted. "What's up?"

Eric didn't speak again as he waltzed into the office, slamming the door shut behind him. It rattled a few of the pictures off my shelves against the wall and I scowled at him. Did he have to destroy my things like that? Eric pushed past all the files packed boxes that were still laying around the office. I had been having a hard time moving too quickly or lifting too heavy of loads while the bullet wound was still in the healing process so I had been putting off moving into the office. Eric kicked some of the boxes off to the side as he marched up to me.

Two of them went toppling over, the contents spilling out onto the tile floor. "Eric! Come on!" I yelled, annoyed with his lack of care for my things. "I'm going to have to put all of that back and I can't do that without tearing -"

Eric ignored my constant yammering as he continued striding toward me. He must have already known what I was planning on saying. He was used to me complaining about his need to destroy my things. Plus, as he was still one of the leaders of Dauntless, he would easily be able to order someone to come in and clean up my things, putting them back in place. Eric wrapped an arm around my back, pressing his fingers down into my waist to pick me up and shove me back onto the desk.

I should have been used to him treating me like a rag doll by now, but it still surprised me just how strong he was. I gasped in surprise at his sudden movement as Eric stepped in between my slightly open legs to press a searing kiss against my mouth. I had still been complaining about his disregard for my things but all argument died on my tongue as I melted into his body and the kiss. The tenseness in my spine faded as I wrapped a hand around the back of his neck as he wrapped his fingers tightly in between the strands of my hair.

This was the one thing we'd always been good at. This was the one thing we'd never had to figure out. I smiled into the kiss as Eric's spare hand rested against my thigh, digging into the muscle there. My spare hand wound up his chest to wrap around the edge of his shirt and yank him up against me. Eric and I remained wrapped together for a full minute before finally breaking the kiss. I panted heavily as Eric reached for the belt loops on my shorts and yanked our hips against each other. I giggled slightly.

Our eyes met as I smiled at Eric, trying to figure out what I wanted to say to him. I didn't want to stay away from him tonight. I didn't ever want to stay away from him and I needed him to know that. But Eric got the chance to speak before I did. "I want to go with you to the hospital," he said.

My jaw dropped as far as it could. "What?" I asked dumbly.

After that entire argument this morning when he had been so determined to not come with me to the hospital, he had now changed his mind? Eric grinned wryly. "I know you're not the smartest, but you heard me."

I whacked Eric gently on the shoulder as he laughed. "You don't have to say it just because I want -"

"I'm not," Eric interrupted. "I'm saying it because it's what I want."

My lips turned up in a smile. I saw it in his eyes. He meant what he was saying. "What changed your mind?" I asked curiously.

"You've put up with me and my bullshit for a long time," Eric said.

I laughed quietly. "Understatement of the century," I told him.

He smiled. "The least I can do is meet your sister."

But that wasn't the reason I wanted him to be there. I didn't want him there just to pay me back for something I'd done for him. "I still don't want you to do it because I'm asking you to. I want you to meet her because you want to," I said.

Eric shook his head. "I do. You've made me a part of your family. I should act like it."

For once, I knew Eric was being completely honest. He had taken the time to think about it and come up with the answer I'd wanted. I smiled at Eric as I leaned up and pressed a kiss against his mouth. "You didn't have to do that, but I'm really glad you did," I said.

Eric nodded. "I know."

Finally, we seemed to be making some real progress. I smiled excitedly at Eric as he leaned down and pressed another long kiss against my mouth. Neither one of us were the biggest fans in the world of talking about our relationship. We both liked letting things happen as they did, but sometimes we had to talk about the harder things. Eric had admitted that he did feel like he was a part of my family, but now my focus was shifting to getting him to say those three little words. Not quite yet though. For now, I could enjoy things the way they were.

When we eventually pulled away from each other, I gave Eric a playful smile. "Where's my lunch, by the way?" I asked him.

Eric's eyes dropped to the open buttons on my shirt. "I don't know where yours is, but I'm looking at mine," he said.

After all these months together it still surprised me when he said things like that. My face burned slightly as I smiled. Eric grinned down at me, knowing I would always feel a little bashful when it came to his version of compliments. I had a feeling I would never be able to genuinely answer Eric the way he probably wanted me to, but he must have known that I would always appreciate his vulgar compliments. I pressed a kiss against Eric's mouth again before backing off and looking toward the door.

"Jade!" I shouted.

Eric gave me a strong look as Jade walked into the room, looking an annoyed as she always did when she had to answer to me. "Ms. Freesia?" Jade replied through grit teeth.

I grinned at her annoyance as I said, "Make sure I'm not disturbed until I say otherwise. I have a few meetings to attend."

"Of course," Jade said.

As Jade nodded curtly and walked out, I smiled up at Eric, who was grinning back at me. Jade would know I had no meetings coming up. She had my schedule which was currently blank. Plus, there was the fact that I was perched in between Eric's legs on my desk. I pushed Eric off of me briefly as I walked over to the door, threw the lock, and turned back to Eric. He leaned back against the desk as I waltzed back over to him and stood in between his legs. Eric smiled down at me, brushing the hair back off my forehead.

"Meetings?" he asked curiously.

The two of us smiled at each other as I reached up to Eric's shoulders and shoved him back against the desk. Eric grunted in surprise as he leaned against the wooden desk. "Meetings. All work and no play," I groaned teasingly. I crawled up onto the desk and straddled Eric's lap. His hands fell to my hips as I leaned down to his chest, smirking at the sight of his dark eyes. "Maybe a little bit of play."

"You're not getting a goddamn thing done today," Eric growled.

Which was exactly what I wanted. I smiled again as Eric grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and pulled me against him. His hands moved down to my shirt as we locked lips in an extremely heated kiss. He tore at the buttons on my shirt and threw the offending garment to the floor. We laughed as Eric rolled me by the hips underneath himself and lowered his hands to tug at my pants. He still hadn't told me what I'd wanted him to, but I knew that we would get there eventually. In the meantime, this was just fine.

**A/N:** Welcome back, dear readers! I love the idea of one-shots. I can jump around and write slightly shorter chapters. Please let me know what you think and if there's anything in particular you would like to see. This took a lot longer than expected due to some unexpected (and aggravating) health issues but I'm so happy to finally be back! Let me know if you'd like to see M-rated versions!** Please review!** Until next time -A


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